Thread: Best Story Ever

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  1. #1
    why06's Avatar
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    Best Story Ever

    I cried... So much Troof! /yea


    One day a Novice came to the Master.
    "Master," he said, "How is it that I may become a Writer of Programs?".
    The Master looked solemnly at the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Compiler of Source Code?" the Master asked.
    "No," replied the Novice. The Master sent the Novice on a quest to the Store of Software.

    Many hours later the Novice returned.
    "Master," he said, "How is it that I may become a Writer of Programs?".
    The Master looked solemnly at the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Compiler of Source Code?" the Master asked.
    "Yes," replied the Novice.
    The Master frowned at the Novice.
    "You have a Compiler of Source. What now can prevent you from becoming a Writer of Programs?".
    The Novice fidgeted nervously and presented his Compiler of Source to the Master.
    "How is this used?" asked the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Manual of Operation?" the Master asked.
    "No," replied the Novice.
    The Master instructed the Novice as to where he could find the Manual of Operation.

    Many days later the Novice returned.
    "Master," he said, "How is it that I may become a Writer of Programs?".
    The Master looked solemnly at the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Compiler of Source Code?" the Master asked.
    "Yes," replied the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Manual of Operation?" the Master asked.
    "Yes," replied the Novice.
    The Master frowned at the Novice.
    "You have a Compiler of Source, and a Manual of Operation. What now can prevent you from becoming a Writer of Programs?".

    At this the Novice fidgeted nervously and presented his Manual of Operations to the Master.
    "How is this used?" asked the Novice.
    The Master closed his eyes, and heaved a great sigh.
    The Master sent the Novice on a quest to the School of Elementary.

    Many years later the Novice returned.
    "Master," he said, "How is it that I may become a Writer of Programs?".
    The Master looked solemnly at the Novice.
    "Have you in your possession a Compiler of Source Code, a Manual of Operation and an Education of Elementary?" the Master asked.
    "Yes," replied the Novice.
    The Master frowned at the Novice.
    "What then can prevent you from becoming a Writer of Programs?".

    The Novice fidgeted nervously. He looked around but could find nothing to present to the Master.
    The Master smiled at the Novice.
    "I see what problem plagues you." said the Master.
    "Oh great master, please tell me." asked the Novice.

    The Master turned the Novice toward the door, and with a supportive hand on his shoulder said, "Go young Novice, and Read The Fucking Manual." And so the Novice became enlightened.

    "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter plane with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This is, I repeat, the best way of life to be found on the road the world has been taking. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to why06 For This Useful Post:

    Hell_Demon (11-20-2010),Lolland (11-20-2010),Melodia (11-20-2010),qwerty01 (11-30-2010)

  3. #2
    Void's Avatar
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    Meh, I was kind of expecting that. \:

  4. #3
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    Haha, nice story

  5. #4
    Kallisti's Avatar
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    Sexay .

    未来が見えなくて怖いから
    未来が見えてしまって悲しいから
    目を閉じて優しい思い出に浸ってしまう




  6. #5
    Jason's Avatar
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    Aww I was hoping for a better ending. Who "reads the manual", seriously!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy S. Anderson
    There are only two things to come out of Berkley, Unix and LSD,
    and I don’t think this is a coincidence
    You can win the rat race,
    But you're still nothing but a fucking RAT.


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  7. #6
    why06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason View Post
    Aww I was hoping for a better ending. Who "reads the manual", seriously!
    The Mastah ;D

    "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter plane with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This is, I repeat, the best way of life to be found on the road the world has been taking. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower

  8. #7
    Alen's Avatar
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    Where's the damn facebook like button ...

  9. #8
    Jason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by why06 View Post
    The Mastah ;D
    That's what I'm trying to say, I never read the manual. /

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy S. Anderson
    There are only two things to come out of Berkley, Unix and LSD,
    and I don’t think this is a coincidence
    You can win the rat race,
    But you're still nothing but a fucking RAT.


    ++Latest Projects++
    [Open Source] Injection Library
    Simple PE Cipher
    FilthyHooker - Simple Hooking Class
    CLR Injector - Inject .NET dlls with ease
    Simple Injection - An in-depth look
    MPGH's .NET SDK
    eJect - Simple Injector
    Basic PE Explorer (BETA)

  10. #9
    Void's Avatar
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    This actually happened. I'm the master and Shaun is the novice, true story.

  11. #10
    why06's Avatar
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    Mastah of Fail. true story.

    I'm the Mastah of Win.

    "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter plane with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This is, I repeat, the best way of life to be found on the road the world has been taking. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower

  12. #11
    Jason's Avatar
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    I'm just the Mastah.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy S. Anderson
    There are only two things to come out of Berkley, Unix and LSD,
    and I don’t think this is a coincidence
    You can win the rat race,
    But you're still nothing but a fucking RAT.


    ++Latest Projects++
    [Open Source] Injection Library
    Simple PE Cipher
    FilthyHooker - Simple Hooking Class
    CLR Injector - Inject .NET dlls with ease
    Simple Injection - An in-depth look
    MPGH's .NET SDK
    eJect - Simple Injector
    Basic PE Explorer (BETA)

  13. #12
    -Raz0r-'s Avatar
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    I'm the compiler.
    Languages: C, C++, x86 ASM, PHP, Lua

  14. #13
    Jason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -Raz0r- View Post
    I'm the compiler.
    I should be earning a commission then, seeing as I'm recommending you to all these fucking novices!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy S. Anderson
    There are only two things to come out of Berkley, Unix and LSD,
    and I don’t think this is a coincidence
    You can win the rat race,
    But you're still nothing but a fucking RAT.


    ++Latest Projects++
    [Open Source] Injection Library
    Simple PE Cipher
    FilthyHooker - Simple Hooking Class
    CLR Injector - Inject .NET dlls with ease
    Simple Injection - An in-depth look
    MPGH's .NET SDK
    eJect - Simple Injector
    Basic PE Explorer (BETA)

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Jason For This Useful Post:

    why06 (11-20-2010)

  16. #14
    Kallisti's Avatar
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    You can't create programs without a linker. GG

    未来が見えなくて怖いから
    未来が見えてしまって悲しいから
    目を閉じて優しい思い出に浸ってしまう




  17. #15
    Zimoku's Avatar
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    Sounds like my story, seeing as I just started getting back into coding a few weeks ago...

    "Son, if you want to program, read the damn book." I'll never forget those words =_=

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