Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.
Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.
I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T COOK THEIR OWN RICE
RICE COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
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OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T POP THEIR OWN POPCORN
POPCORN POPPERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
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OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T BOIL THEIR OWN PASTA
PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
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OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR OWN EGGS
EGG SEPARATORS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
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OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T MILL THEIR OWN GRAIN
GRAIN MILLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
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OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T PULL THEIR OWN NOODLES
PASTA ROLLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
Originally Posted by Antipathy
