Daily funny one-liners

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

Funny One Liner

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Lol gonna be tuned in

The road to success is always under construction.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

If I wanted a comeback I would have asked your mother

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

It's never just a game when you're winning.

Daily funny one-liners

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